You Don’t Have To Believe All Your Thoughts

Have you ever had a thought that made you pause, cringe, or feel some form of anxiety, worry, or dread? Maybe it was something like, "I'm not good enough for this job," "Everyone is judging me," "I’ll never succeed," or "Are they are going to leave me”. These kinds of thoughts can feel so real and powerful in the moment, can't they? They sweep in and suddenly it feels like the only thing you can think about. You may literally feel a tightening of your chest, difficulty breathing, or feel your palms start to sweat.

But here’s the truth: Just because you think something doesn't make it true. Let that sink in for just a few seconds. You don’t have to believe every thought that crosses your mind. In fact, sometimes our thoughts are more like noise, distorting the truth rather than reflecting it.  Let’s unpack why that is—and why you have the power to take back control of your mind.

Your Brain Is Trying to Protect You—But Sometimes It Overreacts

When you understand what is happening in your brain, you get to take back control of it. First of all, it's important to realize that your brain's primary job is survival. It’s always scanning for threats, potential danger, and things that might go wrong. In prehistoric times, this was essential and incredibly helpful. If someone was constantly on alert, they were less likely to be eaten by a predator or fall off a cliff.

Fast forward to today: Most of us are not at risk of being attacked by saber-toothed tigers, but our brains still operate the same way. Our brains look for threats in everyday life, like social rejection or failure at work, or becoming ill, or losing someone we love, and sometimes it overreacts. It can take small, manageable situations and make them feel like big, insurmountable problems. It can also take highly unlikely “what ifs”, and make you feel like they are certain to happen. Your brain wants you to be prepared so that either you can prevent things from happening (even though they are highly unlikely), or you can brace yourself for them so you won’t be shocked or surprised. Not always helpful, right?

So when your mind floods with anxious, fearful, or self-doubting thoughts, that’s often your brain's overly enthusiastic attempt to "protect" you. But here's the catch, most of the time, those thoughts aren’t based on reality—they're based on fear, assumptions, or past experiences that aren’t relevant anymore.

Thoughts Are Not Facts

One of the biggest misconceptions people have is that if they think something, it must be true. After all, why would our brain lie to us, right? Well, it does—often. This is where cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) comes in. CBT teaches us that thoughts are not always based on facts. Our thoughts are shaped by our mood, past experiences, and core beliefs, which can sometimes lead us to cognitive distortions which are patterns of thinking that are overly negative or irrational. Sometimes this is referred to as “Stinkin’ Thinkin’” because it is a way of thinking that is not helpful to us and which can create negative feelings and even unnecessary suffering.

Here are some common cognitive distortions that can make us believe false thoughts:

• All-or-nothing thinking: Seeing things in black-and-white terms. If you're not perfect, you feel like a total failure.

• Catastrophizing: Expecting the worst-case scenario, even when the evidence suggests otherwise.

• Mind reading: Assuming we know what others are thinking, especially when we’re assuming the worst.

• Overgeneralization: Taking one negative experience and assuming it applies to all future situations.

You can learn more about thought distortions in my 5 Common Thought Distortions Guide that walks you through these thoughts distortions in detail and provides worksheets to help you challenge and change them. Thought distortions lead us to believe thoughts like, "I always mess up," "They definitely think I’m stupid," or "I’ll never figure this out." But if we take a step back and examine these thoughts, we can see they’re not grounded in reality. They're exaggerated, skewed, and untrue.

You Can Challenge Your Thoughts

Here’s the empowering part: You don’t have to just sit there and let these thoughts take over. You have the ability to challenge them.Think of your mind like a courtroom, and you are the judge. When a negative thought shows up, especially one that’s causing you distress, ask yourself for evidence. Is this thought actually true? What’s the proof? If there were ten other people here, would they 100% agree with this thought?

Let’s say you’re thinking, “I always mess up.” Ask yourself:

• Is it really always? (Likely not, but you are focusing only on the instances where you do think you messed up.)
• What are some examples of times when I didn’t mess up?  (This will remind you of your capability.)
• What’s another, more balanced way of looking at this situation?

By questioning your thoughts, you can start to poke holes in the ones that aren't serving you. And when you find evidence that your thought isn't 100% accurate, you can replace it with something more balanced, realistic, and helpful.

Challenging your thoughts can look like this: Instead of "I always mess up," you might say, "I’ve made mistakes before, but I’ve also succeeded plenty of times. I’m learning and improving." Or maybe you would say, “I messed up this time, I will learn from it, and this one mistake does not define me.”

Create Distance Between You and Your Thoughts

Another useful strategy is learning to create space between yourself and your thoughts. Imagine your thoughts as clouds drifting across the sky. They come and go, but they’re not you—they’re just passing through. You are the sky, and your thoughts are temporary visitors. When you stop identifying with your thoughts—when you can see them as just thoughts rather than objective truths—you gain a sense of freedom. You can observe them, acknowledge them, and then let them go, without getting swept away.

Mindfulness practices can help with this. Next time you catch yourself spiraling into a negative thought, take a deep breath, notice the thought, and remind yourself that you don’t have to engage with it. You can challenge it and look for evidence that it is not completely true. You can choose whether to give it power or not. That feels much more empowering than accepting it as the ultimate truth, right?

Conclusion: You Are More Than Your Thoughts

Our minds are incredibly complex, and it’s easy to get caught up in the endless stream of thoughts that flow through our heads. The key takeaway here is that you are not your thoughts. You are the observer of your thoughts, and you have the power to question them, challenge them, and ultimately decide whether they’re worth believing.If a thought is not serving you, try on a different thought and see if that feels better. When you feel better, you take better actions, and ultimately get better results in your life.

So the next time a thought pops into your head that says, "You’re not good enough" or "You’ll never succeed," take a moment to pause. Then ask yourself: Is this really true? What evidence do I have? And most importantly, remember—you don’t have to believe everything you think. Your thoughts are just that—thoughts. And you are so much more than the fleeting, often flawed, stories they tell. You’ve got this!

Live your best life! 

~ Karen 

Karen Vincent Solutions 

If you are interested in more information about how to manage unhelpful thinking patterns, you can grab my free 5 Common Thought Distortions Guide HERE. 

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