Live Your Best Life!

We all have a lens through which we view the world. This lens is created over time, starting at a young age, and is the result of our life experiences, what we have been told about ourselves, others, the world, and what we think about ourselves. This lens impacts the way we see things and can be very subjective. This is the reason why two people could be in the same situation and think and feel very differently about it.

It is important for you to know that this lens exists, but also for you to check in on your lens and assess whether it is working for you, or against you. This lens is heavily tied to your belief system and your mindset. For example, if you were going on a job interview and your belief system was that you were not good at interviewing and you were not one hundred percent qualified for the job, you would likely show up to the interview differently than someone who was very confident in both their interview and professional skills. In addition, if you believed...

Do you wish you were more motivated overall? Do you wish you could sustain your motivation over longer periods of time? If so, you are not alone. It feels great when you are motivated and operating at a high level, am I right? Unfortunately, the reality is that motivation is not sustained at a high level naturally. It is inevitable that it will dip. How much it dips, and for how long it dips, varies from person to person.

Some reasons you could be lacking motivation are you are experiencing low energy, the task at hand feels boring, the task at hand will require you to experience some discomfort, the task at hand is unfamiliar and/or there is uncertainty, you feel overwhelmed, you are lacking confidence, or you are experiencing some emotional concerns such as depression or anxiety. The good news is that there are things that you can do to both dial up and sustain your motivation. If you are concerned you are experiencing emotional or mental health concerns, seek the...

Do you suffer from perfectionism? This can take place when you think you need to learn more before starting, when you think you need to keep checking something and refining it over and over, when you create stories in your mind about a catastrophic outcome if you put something out into the world that is less than perfect, when you worry that people will not approve of you if something is less than perfect, or when you try to control situations and other people who are not meeting your expectations. While perfectionism can be motivating at times, the problem with perfectionism is that in the pursuit of trying to be perfect, you get less done, you feel like you are disappointing others, or you feel less confident in yourself.

Perfectionism is usually driven by internal pressure. The standards of a perfectionist are usually much higher than the standards of others and often, the standards are unrealistic. Perfectionists spend a lot of time focusing on mistakes and are driven by...

It is human nature to want to look to your past to gain evidence for what you are capable of in your future. We are all shaped by our experiences growing up, the messages we received about ourselves, and the results we have gotten in our lives up until this point. “Failures” from our past are opportunities for growth but are often viewed as indicators of what we are not capable of. Negative messages we received about ourselves growing up can become beliefs that we hold as ultimate truths and experiences we had in the past, may cause us to avoid certain things in the present or in the future.

While there is valuable information you can gather from your past, it does not inform your future. There are lessons to be learned, however, the person you are today, is not the person you were in the past. The capabilities you have today, are not the same ones you had in the past. What others have told you about who you are or what you are capable of in the past, are not...

Do you keep the commitments you make to yourself? So often we tell ourselves we want to do something and then we spend all our time doing things for other people, while forgetting to keep the commitments that we make to ourselves. Why is it that we are willing to follow through with what we say we will do for other people, but not for ourselves?

Whether it’s work related, family related, friend related, or even a commitment to show up somewhere and volunteer, you are likely motivated to follow through because someone else is depending on you. Maybe you don’t want to let someone down, or maybe you are motivated to get something done because you don’t want negative repercussions that could result if you did not follow through with your commitment. Maybe you have been doing this so long, that it has become a habit and that anytime you make a commitment to someone else, the only option for you is to follow through with it.

The act of following through...

When faced with uncertainty, does your brain play through all the “what ifs” of the situation, act like a fortune teller, and predict that the worst-case scenario will happen? If so, you are not alone. We are all wired for negativity bias. This means that without being intentional, our brains want to focus on what is actually happening that is negative, as well as what could potentially happen that is negative. This is why your brain will have you consider the worst-case scenario, even when there is little to no evidence that this outcome will occur.

Your brain thinks that if it has you consider and anticipate the worst that could happen in a particular situation that it is protecting you. It thinks that by having you focus on all the negative outcomes, you can protect yourself from having them happen, and / or avoid being disappointed if they do happen. Unless there is significant evidence that something really bad could happen, this is not a good use of your...

Do you check in on your emotional wellness? You go to your doctor to get checkups and you bring your car in to get tuned up and if something is wrong with either, you likely make a plan and get the support you need to fix.  Most of us are pretty good about these things, however, when was the last time you checked in on your emotional health? If it was recently, congratulations and keep doing this. If it has not been for a long time, let this serve as a reminder that your emotional health is critical to your overall well being. The quality of your life is impacted by your emotional health, so having good emotional health results in a better life overall. 

Emotional wellness is about what we think and feel. When you have good emotional wellness, you are able to control and express emotions appropriately. When you have good emotional health, you experience more positive relationships and social interactions. When you have good emotional health, you have coping...

 When presented with uncertainty do you find yourself going to the worst-case scenario sometimes, or even most of the time? This is a thought distortion, or cognitive distortion, called “catastrophizing”. It occurs when you are faced with uncertainty and only consider the worst possible outcome, instead of considering other possibilities. When you engage in catastrophizing, you experience unpleasant emotions such as fear, anger, frustration, worry, stress, or anxiety. An example of catastrophizing is, if you have an upcoming vacation, and you only think about missing your flight, your luggage getting lost, or it raining the whole time. Another example of catastrophizing would be if you get an email from your boss asking you to meet in the morning and all you can do is play through all the possible reasons he could be upset with you. A third example of catastrophizing would be if your partner is late getting home from work and you automatically think that they got in...

If you are reading this, you are likely someone with goals who wants to improve their life in some way. One thing I’ve noticed with goals is that many people spend a lot of time thinking about them, dreaming about them, and mapping them out…and then never achieve them. Believe me, I have been there many times my friend. Why is this a common experience for so many of us?

It is because dreaming and doing are two very different experiences. Thinking about your goals and what you want in your future is exciting, energizing, and can bring about a lot of hope surrounding what is possible. These are all feelings you want to experience, and therefore thinking about your goals is reinforced by the positive feelings you experience when you do this. On the other hand, doing what it takes to achieve your goals, especially if they will stretch you or challenge you, can be uncomfortable and create feelings of uncertainty. While pushing yourself to achieve your goals, you may...

Social connection has been shown to lower anxiety and depression, improve physical health, improve day-to-day performance and quality of life, improve our immune systems, and help us live longer. Not being able to spend time with others had significant negative effects for many people during the pandemic since, for most of us, we are inherently social beings. What is important to consider when thinking about how socially connected you are is not the number of people you are connected to, but the quality of those relationships.

In assessing whether you have meaning social connections, ask yourself the following questions:

• Do I have people I can confide in?
• Do I show up as my authentic self in my relationships?
• Do I have people who I can rely on when I am having a hard time?
• Do I have people who I really know and who are honest with me about the ups and downs in their lives?
• When I am spending time with others, are we fully present with one another?

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