Live Your Best Life!

Do you ever find that you keep moving things on your “to do” list from one day to the next? From one week to the next? From one month to the next? How about from one year to the next? I can relate to this. I like lists and I like crossing things off lists, however, I recently realized that I was carrying over more things from one list to the next instead of crossing them off. When I looked into this further, I realized that two things were happening. First, the items on the list that were just for me, and did not involve others, were the items getting bumped. Second, I realized that of the items just for me that were getting bumped, they were the hard things, the boring things, or the things I not confident would turn out exactly as I wanted them to.

The tasks that involved me getting something done for someone else, showing up for someone else, or involved someone else in any way were getting done. It was the things that were just for me, about me, or that did...

Did you start the new year excited about what was possible for you? Did you start the new year with a plan for what you wanted to achieve? Maybe it was a health goal, a financial goal, a relationship goal, or a career goal. Maybe it was that you wanted to start a new hobby, learn a new language, sign up for a class, or get your house organized. Whatever it was, weren’t you excited when thinking about it? Are you still as excited? Have you made progress towards it?

If the answer is “no” to either you are no longer as excited, or that you have not made progress towards it, you are 100% normal and this is for you. Keep reading so that you understand why this happened and learn how to get some forward momentum. I absolutely love to dream and to think about all the things I want to do and learn. I can make lists for days. I can schedule my projects and plans out with color codes and be really organized about how and when I am going to work on my goal(s). Can you...

You have probably heard the statement, “manage your thoughts and manage your life”, or some version of this. What I think can be confusing for many is really understanding what this means, and more importantly, how to actually do it. I believe that our thoughts dictate the outcomes we get in our life. I also believe that many of our thoughts are unconscious, so they are running the show without us even knowing…until we decide to pay attention.

You have tens of thousands of thoughts each day so there is no way it would be possible for you to see them all and decide if they are serving you or not. Many of your unconscious or “autopilot” thoughts remind you how to do things like brush your teeth, drive your car, run the washing machine, or use your phone. Some of your other unconscious thoughts impact how you feel, what you believe about yourself and the world, and the actions you take in your life. Sometimes you are aware of the thoughts that...

Did you know that your unconscious mind is like a thermostat that controls the results you get in your life? Have you ever noticed that sometimes when you start to make progress on a goal, you do something that takes you back to where you used to be? This can happen with weight loss, a financial goal, finding a partner, incorporating a healthy habit, or really anything you are trying to change for the better. 

The reason this happens is twofold. First, it is because when you start to elevate to the next level or move towards your goal, you unconsciously tell yourself that you don’t deserve it, that you don’t belong there, or that you have been unsuccessful in the past so you will be unsuccessful again. Second, you will recognize that it will take quite a bit of work, that it will be uncomfortable, and that you should stay right where you are, which does not involve much effort at all. When these two things happen, you do something that brings you back down to your...

I am someone who likes to have a clear plan. I like to map goals out, break things down into tasks, know exactly what needs to happen, and assign a timeline to them. Can you relate to this process? This process works for many things such as cooking and following a recipe, having a list of chores that need to get done, having a list of tasks that need to get done at work, and mapping out a plan for a vacation. What this does not work well for is when you are setting big goals for yourself,  and trying to do something you have never done before.

When you are pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, doing something you have never done before, maybe doing something that both scares and excites you, you won’t have everything figured out when you start. Because of this, many people never take any action to make their dream or goal a reality. They get so stuck on the “how” part of the dream, that they decide it is not for them when they cannot figure out...

Have you ever heard someone say, “I’ll believe it when I see it”? Often, we are waiting to “see” something to give us evidence that something is possible, or that something will happen in our lives. Maybe you are waiting for a certain financial status. Maybe you are waiting for a relationship to improve. Maybe you are waiting for something to improve with your health. The problem is, when you say, I’ll believe it when I see it, it will likely never happen.

The reason for this is because with this kind of mindset, you are telling your brain you don’t believe it will happen or that it is possible, and therefore, you think and act as though it is not possible. You tell yourself that only when you see evidence of it happening or of it being possible that you will believe it. When you do this, it results in you not consciously, or unconsciously, doing anything that would make it possible. You are resolved to the fact that it is not...

We live in a society where, for many, delaying gratification has become more and more challenging to do. Are you old enough to remember when you had to go to the library, find books, and do research in order to get the answer to something? Perhaps you are old enough to remember back to when you bought a paper map and charted out your route when you were taking a road trip. How about when there were not microwaves to heat up food in minutes or even seconds? How about when you had to go to the store to buy albums instead of being able to download and instantly listen to anything at any time? How about when stores were not open on Sundays…or when online ordering was not a thing, never mind the one stop shopping with a one-to-two-day (or same day) delivery time!

Things certainly were different years ago, and while I am right there with you enjoying all the modern-day conveniences, I think our patience and ability to delay gratification may have decreased as a result of the...

How often do you take time to challenge your beliefs? Unless you are very intentional, my guess is that you rarely do this. The majority of us don’t challenge our beliefs because they have been around for so long. They are what we know. They are comfortable (even if we don’t necessarily like them). They inform how we operate, what we think is possible, and the overall success and quality of our lives. Yikes! If they are that influential, shouldn’t you be checking in on yours?

Your beliefs form because you have certain thoughts about yourself, those around you, and the world in general that have been playing on repeat in your mind over time. They may be the result of something you heard someone tell you when you were young. They may be the result of something you witnessed happen to someone else. They may be the result of what kind of media or social media you have consumed over time. Whatever it is, you “digested” some form of information, put it on...

Let’s take a few minutes to talk about “to-do” lists, “to-don’t” lists, and why we sometimes get caught up in busy, rather than productive. Have you ever made a “to-do” list and then added something you have already completed so that you can check it off? If so, this is for you, and you are not alone. We like to feel like we are accomplishing things and checking something off a “to-do” list does just this.

The problem with “to-do” lists is that they can get filled up with small tasks that cause us to feel busy, but that don’t really result in anything meaningful getting done. They can contain small, non-urgent tasks that prevent us from accomplishing the tasks that make the biggest difference. The reason so many of us fall into the never-ending “to-do” list trap is that given the choice, we almost always want to choose the easy things. Our brains are wired to keep us comfortable and...

This is a good question for you to ask yourself and chances are that when things get hard, sometimes you give up, and sometimes you get up. There is no judgement either way, however, having a process that helps you get really clear about whether you want to give up or get back up, can be helpful.

Typically, when we stop working on something or have thoughts of wanting to quit it is because things are not going according to plan and/or things get uncomfortable. It is human nature to avoid pain and discomfort, so this makes perfect sense from a human evolution perspective. Our brains are wired to alert us when something is making us uncomfortable and will try to tell us to stop because its job is to keep us “safe” and comfortable. This is really helpful when we are in physical danger, however, that is not the experience of most of us today. Instead of highlighting physical danger, it highlights anything that causes us to feel difficult emotions, that challenges us...