Live Your Best Life!

Social connection has been shown to lower anxiety and depression, improve physical health, improve day-to-day performance and quality of life, improve our immune systems, and help us live longer. I think we have seen the importance of this more than ever, over the course of the last year. Recently, I have been working with many clients who are experiencing increased levels of anxiety, depression, and stress because of the cumulative effect of not having been able to spend time with friends and family for an extended period of time. Although initially many people were happy about having more time for themselves, the impact of not seeing friends and family coupled with not seeing co-workers in person, has taken its toll on many. The National Alliance on Mental Illnesses is running a “You are Not Alone” campaign for Mental Health Awareness Month to highlight the importance of social connection as so many people have been impacted by the isolation caused by the pandemic.

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Do you sometimes feel like you are lacking in confidence? Do you sometimes not take actions that you think you would have if you had more confidence? Do you sometimes look at other people and wish you could be more confident and surer of yourself the way they seem to be? Many people experience this, at least some of the time.

The first thing to keep in mind is that self-confidence comes from within you. You may sometimes tie it to external events; however, it is always what you think about yourself that increases or diminishes self-confidence. For example, if something happens at work where you are given some negative feedback from your boss, you may think that what your boss said to you created a lack of self-confidence regarding your ability to do you job well, however, it is what you think about what your boss said that impacts your self-confidence. You may think that someone criticizing the way you look caused you to lack confidence, however, it is how you take it in,...

Have you ever found yourself reacting to something that someone said or did, or to something that happened, in a way that you later regretted? Have you told yourself that you are not going to do this anymore and then BAM…it happens again? If so, you are not alone. I am going to explain to you why this happens and then what you can do to reduce the chances that this will happen again.

When this happens, we sometimes think that we are upset because of what someone said, did, or because of something that happened, however, this is never the case. We are upset because of what we THINK about what occurred. This may sound a bit strange but if you consider it and understand it fully, it is also very empowering. It is empowering because once you learn that it is not the external thing happening that causes your emotions, it is what you think about them, then you can choose different thoughts which result in you feeling differently.

Let me give you a few examples to help...

Do you wish you could “create more time”? Who doesn’t??? The reality is that although we cannot create more than 24 hours on the clock, we can “create time” in our days by adjusting both how we think about them, and by how we approach them.

Have you ever experienced that you get more done the day before you are leaving to go on vacation than you do on most other days? Why is this? It is because you approach the day differently. You are so focused on wanting to wrap things up so that you can go on vacation and not have to worry about work that, as a result, you work more efficiently and with more focus. On other days, you may tell yourself that you will get to what you can, and whatever you don’t get to will go on your list for the following day. We tell ourselves, both consciously and unconsciously, that we have more time and therefore we take more time to get things done.

What if you could be as productive as you are the day...

Do you ever feel like you are really busy, but still not getting the things done that you want to? Do you ever feel like you did not stop all day, but that you don’t really have anything to show for it? I’ve learned over time that there is definitely a difference between busy and productive. When I am busy it makes me feel like I am getting a lot done but what I am getting done is often not the things that really matter. When I am productive, it makes me feel like I am doing things that move something forward.

There are many different strategies that can be implemented to increase productivity and I have shared a few of my favorite ones below. In addition to the strategies I am sharing below, consider what time of the day you are most productive and schedule your most important tasks for that time whenever possible. Also, focus on one thing at a time. We often hear people talk about the importance of being able to multi-task and keep up with many things at a time....

Have you heard the old joke that the best business model is one where a gym opens on January 1^st, and then turns into a bar on February 15^th? It sounds crazy…but is it really? Have you ever had big goals in January and within a few weeks or months you are no longer putting in the effort required to achieve your goals? Why can so many of us relate to this? It’s because motivation ALWAYS falls off. Always, you ask. Yes…always. But the good news is that there are some practices that you can put into place that will help you continue to work towards your goals and help increase your motivation when it dips.

Break down bigger goals into smaller goals. When you have a big goal, it may feel overwhelming and hard to get started and see progress. Therefore, breaking down big goals into smaller, clearly outlined, action-oriented steps can help you get started and keep going.

Focus on one day at a time. When you think of the big picture, it can feel...

Thought distortions, also referred to as “thinking traps”, “cognitive distortions”, and “stinkin’ thinkin’”, are faulty ways of thinking that hold us back, cause us to experience negative emotions, and/or impact our self-esteem and overall confidence. There are many different forms of thought distortions which is why I am writing a series of blog article about them. You can check out Part #1 on the Live Your Best Boss Lady Life Blog HERE, which focuses on Filtering, Overgeneralizations, and Personalization. You can check out Part #2 on the Live Your Best Boss Lady Life Blog HERE, which focuses on Fortune Telling, Black and White Thinking, and “Should” Statements. What is helpful is to understand them, to take the time to notice if your fall into any of these thinking patterns, and then to start to challenge them. If you do notice that you fall into some of these patterns, there is no shame. Most of us do at least some of...

Thought distortions, also referred to as “thinking traps”, “cognitive distortions”, and “stinkin’ thinkin’”, are faulty ways of thinking that hold us back, cause us to experience negative emotions, and/or impact our self-esteem and overall confidence. There are many different forms of thought distortions which is why I am writing a series of blog article about them. You can check out Part #1 on the Live Your Best Boss Lady Life Blog HERE, which focuses on Filtering, Overgeneralizations, and Personalization. What is helpful is to understand them, to take the time to notice if your fall into any of these thinking patterns, and then to start to challenge them. If you do notice that you fall into some of these patterns, there is no shame. Most of us do at least some of the time, however, by reading this you will start to be able to recognize the problematic patterns and begin to shift them.

In this article, I will review three...

Thought distortions, also referred to as “thinking traps”, “cognitive distortions”, and “stinkin’ thinkin’”, are faulty ways of thinking that hold us back, cause us to experience negative emotions, and/or impact our self-esteem and overall confidence. There are many different forms of thought distortions. What is helpful is to understand them, to take the time to notice if you fall into any of these thinking patterns, and then to start to challenge them. If you do notice that you fall into some of these patterns, there is no shame. Most of us do at least some of the time, however, by reading this, you will start to be able to recognize the problematic patterns and begin to shift them.

In this article, I will review 3 common thought distortions that were identified by psychologists Aaron Beck and David burns in the 1970’s and 1980’s. In subsequent articles I will review additional thought distortions so be sure to...

What are limiting beliefs?

Limiting beliefs are things you think about yourself, your relationships with others, or life and the world in general that result in you holding back, playing small, being self-critical, and / or not living up to your full potential. The problem with these beliefs is that when you don’t realize they are there, or you don’t challenge them, they become the catalyst for the results you get in your life. For example, if you believe you will never have your dream job…guess what you will never have? If you believe you will never be able to lose weight…you will continue to act in a way that prohibits you from losing weight. If you believe you are not worthy of a great, romantic relationship, you will never have a great, romantic relationship.

As I so often reinforce in my coaching, your thoughts create your feelings. Your feelings impact your actions which then create the results you get in your life. If you want different...